This week's words were:
insignificant, crimson, mottled, track, border, and spinning
"She was stiff as last years Christmas tree...."
So, here's my version of what that little lot inspired me to write:
The Big Send-off
She was stiff as last years’ Christmas tree,
Laid out in her Sunday best,
The family had gathered to toast her passing
And pay their last respects.
The trestles, draped with a crimson cloth,
Supported the weight of her coffin,
And outside stood, as red as blood,
The hearse they would carry her off in.
“It borders on the ridiculous!”
said an elderly aunt, “Why not black?”
“She refused to go quietly,” muttered another,
“it looks like her plans were on track!”
An insignificant cough stilled the scene,
Disguising a deep-bellied snort,
As a mourner tripped over the cat on the floor
And let go of his glass of fine port.
Uncle Bert raised his beer and we all gave a cheer
As the errant glass flew through the air,
As it hit the deceased, the port was released
And quickly spread everywhere!
We all gasped in shock, as down her best frock,
Appeared a trail, mottled and red,
But the silence was broken by what was next spoken,
As Aunt Maud leaned forward and said:
“It’s all for the best - she’ll be laid out to rest
In the dress she last wore as a bride,
“And at least she now matches
The hearse that despatches her off to the ‘other side’!”
We had to admit that the dress did now fit,
As we looked round the room at each other,
Uncle Bert chipped in fast, “Well it worked out at last
- 'cos she told us to “have a drink ON 'er!”
With a laugh and a cheer we banished each tear
As we toasted her name with a smile,
With the angels she’s singing, and what a yarn spinning
- how we sent her off in such style!
This has turned into just a wee bit of an homage to "Ackroyd's Funeral", by comedian and folk artist Mike Harding (no relation), you can judge for yourself :